gramour shots.

I’ve got a handful of this, indeed.

Clean is definitely the word that feels right to describe the past few days. I finally cleaned out my ex-roommate’s bedroom; he had left it in shambles:

After a few hours of heavy cleaning, it’s fairly spotless - I counted no less than 8 pill bottles of lithium and 2 bottles of something that, upon looking at Wikipedia, is treated for schizophrenia.  I also have 4 unopened containers of minoxidil - so that’s why you never took that hat off! He also left dirty underwear, clothing with the tags still on, and empty coke baggies. Not that I didn’t already seriously question the sanity of my roommate, but it was during this cleaning session that I became an even more toxic mix of sympathetic and angry.  I have some sympathy because I know what it’s like to have emotions and mood control your life, but I’m more mad because his personality nevertheless seemed to be based on excusing this and allowed him to behave like an adult baby, unable to accept blame and only able to shirk responsibility.

I also removed him from my Myspace friends list (along with some other people I no longer talked to) because I was tired of seeing his posts about how great Oakland was, for I could only see the point of these bulletins as some kind of desperate attempt to justify his departure.  Regardless of whose fault it was or the intent, he was not someone I really wanted to see or hang out with, so I figured that would be the end of it.

And of course, it wasn’t - he noticed within a day and began to rip into me about being petty, about joining the “sam hater” club and a bunch of other things.  I really didn’t want to respond, but of course, I couldn’t resist and laid into him about all of the things that contributed to my wanting to remove him from my friends list.  From there, it denigrated into some of the rudest things that have ever been said to me - about how dozens of people hate me here, about how I am a sick and awful person, about how I was in fact worse than he was in every regard.  And it saddened me, for he is so out of touch with reality that he couldn’t even read what I wrote and see an element of truth involved.  He actually found a way to justify every bad thing he had ever done, from leaving his room trashed to why he talked shit about people I knew.  Either way, I wiped the slate clean and stopped responding to him.

The good news is that I found out that there’s a $500 deposit on the apartment, so if I do a good job cleaning, I might come out not owing a dime.  If I get a refund (very unlikely), that will be my money to keep.